Baked Cardamom-Spiced Donuts with a Grapefruit Glaze

So far, my 26th year has been filled with too much thinking. Too many days spent biting my nails and laying awake at night contemplating life.

Gone are the days when my biggest worry was what blazer to wear to the office that day. Now, all I seem to be thinking about is the future. What do I want in life? Where do I want to be? What’s important? Building my career? Owning a home? Or an apartment? Starting a family? All of that? In what order?

These things don’t need to be decided right away, but I think they do.

I’m a very calculating, organized person. Ever since I was very young I made lists. To-do lists. To-not-do lists. Lists of goals. Lists of wants. Pro & con lists of all the above. Any and all decisions I make (even just the blazer dilemma) need to be weighed and debated.

It sounds maniacal, but it’s all I know.

With age comes more “grown-up” decisions, with bigger consequences. When making certain life choices, my measly little lists – the lists that keep me sane – aren’t always applicable. Contemplating a move to another city to where I can afford a house (not right away, mum, don’t worry) is a big life change, and scribbling down a pro & con list seems almost childish.

I still made that list, of course. But still.

Like I said, I’ve always been so calculating and organized, and the prospect of a future unknown is quite terrifying. Exciting, but terrifying.

If you were to ask my other half what he thought about these decisions, he’d simply shrug and mumble something along the lines of “meh”.

Men.

Why can’t I have that kind of brain, the one that doesn’t over analyze and think everything to death.

Oh well. In times like these, I eat. More specifically: I bake, and then I eat. It’s a stress reliever, almost a form of meditation. Sift, measure, stir, bake, eat. Bask in a delicious smelling house while eating something warm and yummy. Win-win.

I’ve made countless batches of these donuts, all in the name of “recipe testing”, which was an easy thing to do because they are so damn good.

It all started when I bought a donut pan on a whim. I love a good fried donut – my last trip to Portland had me eating two Blue Star Donuts a day – but the thought of making them myself isn’t as appealing. I’ve only deep fried something once, and while it turned out insanely good and I’ll make them again, it was a stressful ordeal.

Oil, heat, spattering, sizzling, a terribly messy kitchen, gross dishes to clean. It was a lot of effort, and I much rather prefer simple.

So I bought a donut pan. Baked donuts don’t really count as donuts, I thought, but what the heck.

Oh I was so wrong! They’re so much easier to make than a fried donut, they’re healthier, yet just as flakey and tasty.

No stress involved in this recipe. Just simple ingredients, minimal work, a short amount of baking time, and a resulting donut that’s moist, fluffy, and flecked with warm, aromatic flakes of ground cardamom.

I love cardamom. It’s flavour is so complex – strong and unique, somewhat citrusy, earthy, and spicy in a way that’s not spicy. It’s wonderful when paired with a tart citrus, so naturally, topping these donuts with a grapefruit glaze was an easy decision to make.

When you make the batter for these donuts, you may worry that it’s too dry or chunky. It’s not smooth and creamy like cupcake batter, so don’t worry! It’s supposed to be a little thick. It’s easiest to transfer the batter to a piping bag (or ziploc bag with the tip snipped) and fill the donut pan. You could also bake these in a muffin tin for a donut-like muffin.

Look at those flecks of cardamom!